Aliens From Inner Space

Our yard has been invaded, by creatures from Tim Burton's mind. What is spotted, has a humped back, red tea cup flaps of skin hanging off its face, a white faces, pointy heads and screeched continuously? Those darn Guinea’s in our back yard! Oh look its snowing again.... screech, screech, screech, Oh look it stopped snowing, screech screech, I think you get the idea.

I know, I’ve been stuck home, abandoned with a broken ankle, all by myself but jeepers creepers, do they ever stop? The answer is no, almost no, they only shut up for a few precious hours during the overnight. Now I know why they have always been called the “guard dog of birds”. If one of those ran up to me, red wattles, white head (I’ m talking clown face white), started its screeching, I would run like hell the other way! Guard birds my butt, scary noise birds with looks that match.

Truly only a face a mommy guinea could love.Yet I find myself slowly becoming enamored with their oddness. I’m going to call half of them Tim, the other have Burton! There, it is all settled, like I have said previously you try to come up with names for all our creatures. By the way the Geese are named Hansel and Gretal, I keep forgetting to mention that.

As for my Tim's and Burton's, they have started something new, for the new year. Guinea Love and as far as I can tell, this is the only time two are quiet, while everyone else cheers them on. Sigh, I guess this is one way to figure out girls from boys?

Winter Wonder Land

The Geese still hog the water cooler (heated water) but every now and then they wander off allowing the other birds a chance at it. There are 4 other water stations but every one always wants the same one!

No sooner did the winter solstice take place, the ducks and geese have decided love is in the air. I keep telling them it is to early, wait for spring but it is the same every year. Mr. Quackers is already trying to whisper sweet nothings at Clovers ankles. Clover is our girl turkey and Mr. Quackers is a little confused, he does this every year. Cecil and Dinner our two tom's have the situation under control, ducks can run fast when they have to.

The Guinea's absolutely hate the snow. During every snow storm they perch in the duck pen doorway screaming their brains out the entire day. When the storm is over we give every one snow blown paths and alfalfa piles for munching, lounging and to keep their feet off the snow. After a few days the guineas will venture out into the other pathways enduring the torture of the horrible white stuff. But their screeching starts anew when the next storm hits.

Chester our newest addition and youngest cat is getting a little braver and thinks he may stalk the birds. His idea of stalking is to slink slowly towards the birds while never getting any closer then 50 feet. He is a very brave boy!

This is the time of year that all those fruit and veggie scraps that I froze are thawed out, warmed up and fed to everybody daily along with fresh treats. And people wonder why they are so tame?

The other morning Pumpkin, our orange, young, beagle - shar pei mix picked up a new friend out in the barn yard. Most of you know Pumpkin, she is energetic, friendly, talkative, bossy and orange from the tip of her nose to the end of her tail. If there is something to be gotten into Pump is there. No job is to small for our little Orange-Inator, Monster from the Orange Lagoon, Orange Demon, Yappalina, Princess of the Orange Collar of Shame, your getting the picture now. If Timmy fell in the well, Pumpkin would be the first one to know and run right back to tell us.
Well back to the other morning, there was a small tragedy with one of our young birds, Clucky. Clucky was a young white chicken, that didn’t make it through the night. Bruce found her in the barn, stiff as a board, being the ever vigilante, caring husband (remember I was ditched home alone with a broken ankle) he tossed Clucky into the barn garbage can. Now I’m sure he was going to retrieve her after his chores for a proper burial but we do have at a foot of snow outside, it may have slipped his mind.
Anyway Pumpkin was there, as always to assist with chores. She likes to race through the barn hoping to startle any “mice” out of their hiding places for a good chase. Then its over to the mouse traps where she assists in the mouse removal and disposal out in the field for us, after thorough taste testing. Pumpkin then races back into the barn, bolts upstairs demanding to view those closed off sections of the barn for safety reasons (vermin patrol). On each of these many trips back and forth through the barn at high puppy speeds, the garbage can will get a sniff examination. Hey you never know what might pop up much to her orange delight?
Well as you already know, this is one of Pumpkins lucky days, there is a prize in the can. Okay, its a prize only to Pump but we wont tell her that. The sniff check confirms Pumpkins suspicion. If any one has ever heard a shar pei sniff, you know that they snort when they use their sniffer. Pumpkin being a half breed has the most incredibly loud snorting nose with a sweet beagle face that will crack you up. She also has a very long reach for such a short stubby dog. Her main hobby is “counter surfing”, when she isn’t out searching for dead things.
Back to Clucky, who is now charging out the barn door, in Pumpkins mouth, at high puppy speeds. This incredible prize, a new best friend for Pumpkin was to important to be deposited in the field or anywhere out of her sight. Proper beagle burial was not a option with the ground frozen and a foot of snow. We did however have a few snow banks that did seem to qualify as temporary cold storage/burial places for Clucky.
As the day progressed it slowly became obvious these snow banks and temporary burials were going to be a problem for Pumpkin and Clucky. Clucky actually didn’t seem to mind though so the problem was really for Pumpkin. Every time Pump stuffed Clucky somewhere safe, she went into the house for a nap. Its a tough job to be a farm dogie. When Pump close her eyes all she could see was Max, Jake, one off those bossy cats or dog forbid a beaky faced bird stealing her Clucky away.
Pumpkins eye flew open, she jumps up with a whining grrrwow and runs out to retrieve Clucky, saving her from a fate of being in the clutches one of those other farm animals! This goes on for hours, eventually Pumpkin now driven to wandering the cold, blustery snow covered yard, realized she can never part with Clucky again. It is not worth the risk of losing such a good new found friend. She must find a solution soon or she and Clucky would surely freeze!
Later that day it dawns on me that I have not seen my faithful orange demon for several hours. This little dog does not let me out of her sight for very long if I’m home. She would bound into a room and give a grrrwow, mommy where are you??? I would respond “in here Pumpy” and off she would happily go knowing I was safe from the perils of our farm (except those geese). For my little orange girl to not have checked on me for many hours, something is out of place. Thats when I hear my girl, barking grrrwow from the top of the stairs, in the hall way. Whats up with that, I had no idea she was upstairs?
I get my crutches and hobble to the hallway, I call to Pumpkin “whats up girly? come on downstairs”. She immediately turns waging her orange tail sideways, bolts down the hall to my bedroom. I can hear her jumping on the bed, then off the bed, bolting back down the hall to the top of the stairs. There Pumpkin stands proudly, tail wigwagging, with Clucky in her mouth. She had finally found a safe place to keep Clucky!
--

Coco

Coco is in the house!As usual this is a long story but as most of you do not know, I have been home for 3 weeks now with a broken ankle. So here it goes.Tuesday evening , Dec. 21st, the Geese ambushed me in the back yard. I know it was them, they spend the day hanging out at the water cooler, planning how to get out of their Holiday dinner reservations. Splashing, honking, snorting water all over that section of the barn yard, causing small ice slick of water run off across the barn yard. That evening while I was carrying and distributing grains for everyone it happened. I slipped on the slick and went down like a ton of poop, hearing a loud crunching noise. There they were, watching from the “water cooler”, having a gaggle of giggles, okay more like honks at my demise.After I was done screaming, I slowly got up, in denial that the loud crunch I heard was my ankle breaking. Continuing on into the barn, hobbling, there was another loud crunch. Thats when I decided I might go put up my leg with ice on it. I could not possible have broken that stupid bone when there was still so much work to be done for the Holidays! The next morning, when I tried to stand up, I finally knew something might be wrong, Duhhh. Luckily I have a “In” at the Bone and Joint center in Albany, who got me in immediately. Of course Bruce my ever caring and vigilant husband, went to work, left me home alone, with a broken ankle to fend for myself. Yes it is the right foot! Once again luckily my mommy was home and willing to take me up to B&J (I like the sound of that) for my X-ray. Of course with mom you always get two for the price of one, Daddy III must always accompany mom, everywhere. If you don’t know the Daddy’s I, II and III story’s, thats your tough luck! I can explain another time. Yes I’m cranky and bitter, home for 3 weeks, broken..... ughOkay so the good news is broken but does not need to be set, I did that myself in the barn! Bad news it is broken. I get a lovely black boot with metal and velcro. They don’t know me very well and let me out the door with out casting it! I get the this is very rare not to pin or plate the ankle, be careful, stay off it lecture To accessorize my lovely boot, I get matching set of shiny metal crutches. What more could a girl want? After all it is the Holidays?Ah, now I’m back home, the old folks literally ditch me inside the front door and take off. Once again, I’m stranded home alone with a broken ankle. Slowly I park my but in my work kitchen at my table, put the stupid foot/boot thingy up and look out the window, there are those darn geese, looking back at me. How the hell?? They all have reservations and will be picked up on Christmas Eve, along with several ducks and chickens, and it is Wednesday already! This is where Bruce’s misery begins. Each evening, the 22nd and 23rd, Bruce had to harvest the birds himself, deliver them to me and help with their preparation, which he hates to do. But of course, he still goes to work, stranding me home alone with a broken ankle. How many more times do you think I can fit that into this story? Wasn’t there snow also? I vaguely remember there being a snow storm that week, while I was home alone stranded …......Somehow, everyone made it to their Holiday reservation, each evening working like mad people. During the day I’m sitting in my window, thinking that I should start screaming for Norman to come take care of me, propping a stuffed sparrow on my shoulder. Then with all the snow, that makes it impossible to get around,I keep thinking this is how Yuri and Lara felt in Varykino. Sadly I do not like to sit around and I’m not one to watch TV. My window is the view of my world for now. Slowly all the birds have noticed me in my window and know where to beg. I do get a lot of feathered entertainment.One evening a few nights ago, Coco, my black frizzle, Cochin, bantam was marching back and forth in front of our back door screeching. What on earth is her problem thought while I opened the door? She, the once famous sun porch bantam “Coco” had decided the weather was to cold and she needed to spend the evening on her porch. The last time Coco has spend a night with us was last February, 2010 some time. This little miniature chicken remembered her porch, hopped up on the counter, climbed onto a duck cage and went to sleep. In the morning I was awakened to a ungodly screech that echoed through the house. All I could think of is Chester and Coco are not getting along. Coco may become a kitty treat.Slowly I crawl down the stairs, peak into the living room, there is Coco in the middle of the room looking back at me. She promptly turns and heads for the back door, it is time for Coco to leave the building!The ducks were all taken out by Bruce, that is another story and man do ducks stink! But they are all outside and of course there is a sick fluffed up chicken found in the barn, with a runny nose. So the stinkers are swapped out for the sick chick, who is Corny our Dark Cornish hen. Hey you try to find names for all those birds we keep as pets. Corny is set up in a clean cage and has special treats and water to perk her up. We hate to lose any one specially the pets not to mention raising them organic.Coco comes in again, it is another bitter cold evening and I forget to remind that Coco lives in her very own Chick Chalet outside our back door. On those very cold nights she can not generate enough heat to keep her warm all alone in her Chalet. There were more girls in the Chalet but the fox ate them. :(That evening, my mother actually peeled herself away from Daddy III to stop over for a visit, first visit in over week, while I’ve been stranded home alone with a broken ankle. Yes that is the sound of being tossed under the bus, no mercy! I proceed to mention how my Mother in law, now my true mommy has been over almost Every day checking on me. Mom loves Coco, how could any one not. She is soft, silky, friendly and very tame, if she knows you. I can hold, pet, carry her around like a kitten. I’m thinking the old lady cam to visit the darn bird. Coco see’s my mother coming, starts making a not so happy screech noise and gives the old lady the stink eye. God I love that bird! Now I’m actually up to THIS morning, finally. I crawl down the stairs, grab my snazzy crutches and go to see if Coco wants to go outside this morning. Never a dull moment around here. We have had more snow, of course and we all know how happy that makes me! Coco is waiting on her perch, she see’s me and hops down, running to the door to go outside. Slowly I open the door for her, the poor little creature looks up at me like I made all that snow. She gets to the edge of the door jam but there is NO way that girl is hopping into snow that is well over her head. Needless to say, she turns around and heads for her perch. I even tried to take her to the other door, thinking she may want to walk up the path where the dogs walked, joining her brethren. She is such a tame baby, I bring her over and go to put her out the door in the snow. NO deal, Coco jumps mid air, never touching the snow, landing on my arm, runs up, tucks herself under my chin, clinging to me as if she was being tossed into the snows of Siberia. I should have never let her watch Zhivago last winter. Back to the porch we go. Weather I like it or not Coco is spending the day!
-- A chicken doesn't stop scratching just because worms are scarce Grandma Axiom

Turkey day came and went, so did our turkeys, including my Winston, sigh. Everyone had fabulous dinner reservations at only the "best" homes! Winifred, Winston's girlfriend was a little jealous at first then sad that she was left behind but I'm sure she will be much happier? She is hanging with the girls, Clover, Chloe and the boys, Cecil and Dinner. Yes we still have Dinner, he had so many reprieves that we decided it was his destiny to be with us forever.
We did have a special request this past holiday for one of our geese, much to my delight. His name was *#@in ***hole, he had a very special place in my heart. I can not tell you how much I miss that bird, it would not be appropriate! Let's just say the other ones left are such a pleasure to be around. For some reason they are much calmer then they used to be?
Our Red Ranger that we raised Label Rouge is almost all "harvested". I'm trying out a new term as you can see. Since we no longer go to the "salon" I have to improvise. So last weekend we, (me) harvested about 40 rangers. Slowly are farm is winding down for the winter. Even if we did just receive 25 more chicks, that will grow into our little fatties that every one loves so much.
This weekend its time for a few of our ducklings to; go south for the winter and north to the Farmers Market in Schenectady. Don't worry though; we have LOTS of ducks, lots and lots. They almost breed as well as the Quail. But then nothing can breed like quail, maybe mice or rabbits? We still have lots of quail but they will be winding down also. The last 50 hatched out about 2 weeks ago and that’s if for a while, until spring. We have about 50 ready to "go", another 50 almost ready to go and then the last 50 chicks. All I see is quail when I close my eyes!
And I wonder why I wander around the house going Kill, kill ,kill….and I love animals? Yes I do and all our babies have the best care, love and land to run on until they go on their special dinner dates. We have a very tough job to do but someone has to do it. Every creature must be given thanks and the respect that they deserve, even that goose, *#@in ***hole.
We are very lucky to be part of this delicate circle of life and we give thanks to everyone who supports us and our farm.
Hope you all had a great Thanks Giving!
Susie

Smashing Pumpkins

Smashing Pumpkins, no not the band, the birds, they love to eat pumpkin. Okay I'll admit they love to eat anything but fresh pumpkins are a favorite. Every fall I collect pumpkins left over after Halloween at local farms. Then we (Bruce) store them in the basement/root cellar/dungeon. Every morning we (Bruce) toss out pumpkins in the yard for all to snack on. If any one has pumpkins and do not know what to do with them, bring em on over, toss them in the back yard and watch the show.
Along with all their pumpkin delight our birds have also been snacking on Meyer lemon rinds, quince parts, persimmon tops, apple parts (nice pre-seasoning.) By the way I have a few new jams made up as you can guess.
Also it is official, I'm BON A FIDE! I have my certificate from Cornell University stating that I've graduated from my Acidified Foods course. At least I have finally graduated from a college somewhere. I've been to four colleges, 3 majors, no degree yet. But the real point is now I can sell pickled goods, no more contraband. That was the best $400. that I ever spent and it was a very informative course. Yes Nancy, no more accidental poisonings! (duh joking) All you doctors and attorneys out there, stop rolling your eyeballs.
We have lots of new stuff going on. Bruce and I have also been selling at the Schenectady Green Market at Proctors Theatre, every other Sunday. We can now sell my Acidified foods along with my jelly, jam and we can not forget Organic Fowl (just not the chicken), I'm working on that. The Schenectady market so far has been fabulous. Lots of fun people, good food, fresh produce and I have not killed Bruce yet. Surprisingly enough we work very well together, go figure?
Dorothy, our "Mother Plucker", so named by our neighbors, has already paid for itself. This contraption looks like that thing they tossed into the clouds in Twister, hence the name Dorothy. We added on the Mother Plucker part. Yes this is our new Salon Treatment for our fowl. I won't expand on this new aspect of our lives, lets just say it's all good. Our twisted neighbors have been hanging out with us and Dorothy, "Watching". I guess we really need more to do in the hood when this is the new social event?
We all know what is coming up very soon, Turkey Day! So far my head count has been holding strong, no turkey losses. Bruce and I will be saloning on November 20th. Your birds will be ready for pick up that evening or later. They will be fresh and fine until Thanksgiving, you don't want to know how many days old meat is when you buy it in the store. If any one needs us to deliver, no problemo, we will deliver your bird.
This weekend I'm focusing on our Quail or the reduction of our quail. If any one wants fresh quail, we have PLENTY available, just let me know. I'm going to do a special deep fried southern quail myself.
Take care everyone!
Susie

It has been a long, hot, crazy summer and fall

It has been a long, crazy, busy summer and fall!!
Okay I've been slacking a little with my blog page. Life has been a whirl wind of birds. Speaking of Whirl Wind we have a new addition to the farm, Dorothy our "Mother Plucker". I'll talk about her, more, later one. Now where to begin for a recap of the past 4-5 months, sigh, how time flys (no pun intended).
Our yard is a sea of ducks, chickens, turkeys, geese, guineas and what a fun sight it is to see! Slowly over the summer we have been ramping up our duck population (home grown from my girls eggs). Nero, Quackers and Jeremiah (who we fondly call Gigandor), have contributed greatly to this effort. The sleek Cayugas gracefully graze next to the crazy, energetic Khaki Cambells, along with all those slow and watch full Muscovys. You can not sneak much past a duck but Muscovy's keep a keen eye on everything, all the time!
Nothing will put a smile on your face faster then watching ducklings darting past, chirping with their little wings flapping. The best was turning around in my work kitchen to find about half dozen ducklings that scooted into the back door and where sneaking across the room to me. As soon as I turn, noticing them, they madly jump in the air spinning around, squealing out chirps and on their giant little feet ran back out the door. This comical mass of tumbling fuzz would then stop just outside the door expecting apple or cucumber treats to be tossed to them immediately. While eating their special treats, you could then pet the little buggers as they climbed my feet or legs gobbling down any thing they could get their bills on. You have to realize this treat was for fifty, not just a few ducklings but fifty hungry, fuzzy little babies.
Then they grow up, poop everywhere, sigh.
Of course then there are my geese, the bane of my existence. These majestic creatures have finally calmed down, turning into giant, white beauties, terrorizing the yard at a slightly calmer pace. Yes, terrorize about sums it up. My lovely gentle, little goslings what would play in my lap; eat out of my hand, follow me everywhere are hoodlums. I can't wait for next spring to have more! The girls are practicing; we keep finding giant white mystery eggs all over the yard.
Our turkeys are filling out nicely, not to small, not to large. I keep giving them little pep talks and they watch me intently, probably wondering how to get my eye ball out the socket. Winston did attempt to take a chunk out of my ear, he just couldn't resist. Most days Winston a Narragansett turkey waits patiently outside the back door hoping that I will pass him special treats. Then after treats he goes for a ride around the yard on my shoulders. We also have Bourbon Reds and Sweetgrass. I'm still amazed at their feather coloring. To watch them grazing over the hillside by the grape vines, blending into the fall foliage in back ground, they almost disappear. Nature is sneaky, camouflage is a wonderful thing.
One of our most crazy and wild additions to the farm this year has been the Guineas. These energetic little birds turn up everywhere .So far the head count is 12 large guineas and 3 smaller mystery guineas. The mystery guineas are very tiny and seem to disappear a lot; lately more so? This does not bode well for this little rag tag team of tiny things. The large 12 are thriving, keeping to the yard, seeming to realize that there is safety in numbers, restraining from flying over the perimeter fencing. Yes, the yard and fields have a perimeter fencing to keep out predators. The area is so large most of our birds never wander to the farthest point of outer fencing.
All my old girls (egg layers) seem to know winter is coming. The newer hens are care free, staying out past dark, running wild with the ducklings. Not my experienced hens, they tuck themselves in long before dusk with their roosters; Zilla, Pepi, Freebird. These girls stay in the first coop that we built. Only the privileged hens or roo's are allowed to roost in this coop. All others are chased and squawked at until they vacate the premises. Eventually all the other hens go inside, roosting in the newer pens along with all the fatties (meat birds), turkeys and ducklings. Coco the only Frizzle bantam hen left goes into her "Chick Chalet", all by her lonesome. Over the summer, unfortunately her friends, Zelda and Lola were snatched away from us by a fox. It is very hard to convince independent little bantams to not venture through the fencing. I'll be heating the Chalet soon to keep Coco warm and safe on those cold winter nights.
Our Red Rangers that we raise for Label Rouge meat have decided that toes are tasty. Every time they see me, they come running like crazy, beg for treats, and then try to eat my toes when the goodies run out. Rangers are one fast, smart bird, retaining all their instinctive skills for foraging, fighting and flight when in danger. In the spring we are going to try to let them breed their own eggs for hatching. Don't tell Bruce, he will start twitching. I almost put him over the edge when we moved all the Quail breeders for the winter into the barn.
Coturnix Quail are a beautiful tiny bird with a huge breast full of delicious meat. Yes I know that’s terrible but man they taste yummy. This breed of quail can not be exposed to the freezing temperatures of the Great Northeast. Keeping them nice and cozy with extra lighting will help them to continue laying eggs through the winter. Quail are very good at doing two things, first is eating and the other I'm sure you can figure out, crazy little birds. Did I mention we have lots of Quail Eggs and Meat???
At this time the barn is over run with tiny field mice, which I'm remedying at this moment with traps. Chester our new kitten will soon be out in the barn hunting, hopefully. It seems Herman our four year old barn cat has decided to retire to the main house, abandoning the barn to the birds and mice. When poor Herman does go out back, he hunches his shoulders, pins his ears back and does a slow march out to the barn; with 100 plus fowl happily tagging along. For some reason this bothers Herman, of course I'm crying from laughing so hard watching this fowl spectacle, poor Hermi.
We are hunkering down, preparing for the winter, hoping it is a mild one. I could go on forever but I'll end this update for now.