Chicken Poop Adventures

(Pepi)

(Lucy in her broody trance)
Chicken poop adventures are a daily occurrence for me. Every time I go to collect eggs, I have to crawl under one of the roosting poles to get into the nesting coop. There is usually at least one chicken and a turkey roosting on that pole. The whole time I'm telling them "don't poop on my head, don't poop on my head". Then in the coop I have to reach down under another roosting pole with 1/2 dozen chickens sleeping on it. This is the "big girl coop". While I start the chant again, "please don't poop on my head", I'm reaching into the nesting boxes, feeling for eggs, sometimes under a sleeping chicken. Many times the first thing I grab is not the prize I'm looking for.
In the last nesting box sits Lucy, my little red Cochin bantam. Maybe there will be one or two stray eggs in another nesting box where Harriet is sleeping, but the majority of eggs are laid in one sacred bottom box. Every day the girls line up 3 to 4 deep waiting to enter this sacred box. The ruckus this causes in the coop can be heard in the house with all the doors closed. Once all the eggs have been deposited, Lucy then parks herself in this box for the night hoping to claim all the eggs for her self.
I start poking around under Lucy removing 3, 4, 5 sometimes 12 eggs from beneath this tiny bird. She gives me a little peck and a squeaky protest but falls right back to sleep, egg less. The fun begins when I start out of the coop, banging my head on the poop encrusted roosting pole, where a giant turkey is resting. The turkey gives me the stink eye for the disturbance. I curse leaving the pen knowing that my day is now complete. The birds are fed, eggs picked and the poop is in my hair again….
To top off the whole daily routine of poop in my hair, that darn Bantam rooster Pepi bounces off my butt, while I'm doing the crawl into the big girls coop, then runs like hell. As if bumping my head into the poopy roost isn't enough I have Pepi jumping me when ever he can. The results of Pepi's behavior dooms him to spend time under my arm while I'm doing my barn chores. Supposedly this will show him who is boss???? Not working yet.

What is it with me and poop?

(Mr. Quackers with Petunia, Penelope and Deililah)
I had finally tracked down Muscovy female ducks for breeding. I called one of my girlfriends and offer to pick up 3 girls for her (2 of her ducks flew off) and 3 for me, only if the farm is not to scary. So it's all arranged, I'll go pick up the birds. I find the farm very easily; you could see it from the road, which is an understatement; I'm taking another trip to Deliverance and Chainsaw Massacre all over again. I pull up to the house/shack and try to decide which set of rickety stairs to climb so I can knock on the "door". Luckily someone comes out of the door and it is the woman I talked to on the phone. I have to admit she is a very pleasant and I relaxed a bit. Slowly I look around and take in the whole "farm". OMG, it's not that bad, sort of. Whew, I'm not going to be chopped up into pieces today!
There are animals everywhere. I'm seeing Ducks, Geese, Lambs, Goats, Chickens, Guineas and I'm sure there was more I did not see. They are all over the place, some in cages/shelters/pens, some loose running wild. Everyone looks healthy but let's just say I'm lucky the ground is frozen, this calmed down the farm odor. I back up my car to this one "building" (I use that term loosely) so we can start catching us some ducks! Let me tell you these people knew what they were doing. They whipped out a huge net and headed into the "building". I of course did not go into the "building" but 6 ducks were produced from this "building". Meanwhile outside, one by one the ducks were handed off to me for loading into the cage in the back of my Volvo wagon. Yes, I now notice that the cage does not have a blanket underneath it. Oh well, It won't be that bad, right? We were done in no time at all.
All the ducks are loaded; I paid for them, now I'm off to deliver Barbs 3 ducks. Right away I notice the odor they smell like dirty farm and sheep/duck poop. That’s not too bad? Then they start pooping or squirting out poop in the cage/car. The six girls are very nervous and pooping like crazy all the way to Barbs house (30 minute ride). I arrive; it is frigid and brutal cold outside. One by one I grab the ducks out of the cage. These beasties are crazy strong, flapping and kicking. Muscovy's have claws on the end of their webbed feet that now are covered in duck poop. Barb and I decide it would be better to clip these crazy girls' wings first thing, before releasing them in her yard. I'm holding the bird, smearing poop down my coat, my pants, and gloves while Barb clips the feathers. Poop flys into my hair and all over Barb as they flap, not to mention the back of my car. Then the wind would gust the feather clippings into my car so they could stick into the poop. We clipped their wings very quickly, we say our good bye's. I take my coat and gloves off; toss them onto the floor of my car. This is one memory I'm sure Barb and I will not forget easily and yes it was still fun!
I could not wait to get home and get my poopy smeared pants off and clean up. I hit the house and Bruce meets me at the door, he needed to go to the ER in Albany. Something is very wrong with one of his eyes. We toss Dimples, Daphne and Delilah into their pen, hop into the car an off we go, poop and all to Albany Med Hospital.

Pumpkin

Life has been a little crazy lately, more so then usual. Our precious little orange dog Pumpkin started a new hobby recently. Pumpkin who we lovingly call Demon, Agent Orange, Urchin, and Creature from the Orange Lagoon, Pumpinator, The Beast, seems to always find herself in trouble on a daily basis. We honestly don't know how she thinks up enough stuff to get herself into so much trouble. Maybe because she is half Beagle, very stubborn and a smarty paws. Pumpkins latest "hobby" or escapade involved her collecting eggs one by one and burying them, only to dig them up later and have a yummy snack.
Suddenly we noticed a dramatic drop in our egg production and found the chickens hiding what few eggs we could fine in odd places. For some orange reason they were afraid to lay in their nesting boxes. We found eggs all over the yard, upstairs in the barn, downstairs in the workshop, in a bucket, on a bail of open wood chips, everywhere. Not one egg was deposited in the nice nesting boxes we built for them. Then one morning Pumpkin went running up to me showing off the egg in her mouth. I tried to get her to drop it, no such luck, Pump ran off at high puppy speeds to bury her prize. Of course I followed, watched her bury the egg, and then retrieved it. This happened a few more times and then she broke an egg, discovering how yummy they are. That was it; the egg internment would only last a few hours then dug up for snack time. That short period of time in the ground must have added some special flavor.
It took us a week or so to figure out the tie between Pumpkin, the birds, the eggs disappearances and the daily egg hunts for hidden treasure. Pumpkin was stealing the eggs away while the birds were still laying them, terrifying the poor things, chasing them out of their nesting boxes. We decided to try an experiment, lock Pump in for the day and go to work. Don't worry grandma came up to let her little grand puppy outside for pee-pees.
That evening when I went out to pick eggs, there were actually a few more eggs, imagine that. Then pumpkin tried to steal an egg before I could collect it. I caught her red pawed, or should say saw her. The stinker ran off and ate her snack; after all she didn't have any eggs all day. Now we have only one choice, out came infamous "collar of shame".
Pumpkin is the sweetest dog on the planet. She charms kisses out of strangers, snuggles endlessly and has the saddest beagle face you have ever seen. But Pumpkin knows the collar of shame very well. In 25 years of having dogs I have never had to resort to the collar of shame. I hated doing this but it's either no eggs and a fat dog with egg breath or the collar of shame. She is just one stubborn girl.
Off I go to dig through my work kitchen drawes, find the collar and install it around the little orange demons neck. If looks could kill, I would have been dog food. Pump snorts, glares at me with narrowed eyes and goes off to pout in the kitchen. She is not a stupid dog, just stubborn and very smart.
The next morning, on goes the collar and we go off to do chores. I'm stepping out of the barn, guess who is trotting out of the chicken pen door, with an egg in her orange mouth. This time I've caught her red pawed! I give her the command to stop and drop the egg, no response. Then I use the warning beep on her collar, this does not faze or slow her down, she's walking off with the egg. So now I have to do it, a very low zap, she stops drops the egg and gives me the evil orange eye. We have a little chat over what she has been caught doing; she goes off to pout sitting outside the back door for the whole day.
Now realizing I have a huge problem of dog egg snatching. I hunt through the interned looking for a solution. That's when I come across a New Improved collar that responds to a transmitter. The transmitter is on the barn over the chicken door, the collar is on Pump, and hopefully this will work. She pouts then tries to go into the chicken coop, hears the beep and stops. Amazingly we have more eggs!

Fowl Update

The baby ducklings are one week old today and tomorrow, they are growing like crazy. The goslings are 5 weeks old and starting to feather out. Lucy (bantam chicken) is still siting on her eggs on our workbench in the barn, they should be hatching any minute! Clover's (turkey) eggs should hatch at the end of this week.
Over the weekend I built a Chick Chalet for Zelda, Lola and Coco to live in which will give me back my sun porch. The Chalet was build according to Lola's specifications; many funky windows, doors and a small porch. She still has to pick out the colors for the paint job.
I'm a little behind on pictures but with all the work the girls have been giving me I'm sure everyone will understand.

11 Ducklings

Ducklings are allmost all hatched

Petunia was up and about for the first time in over 48 hours. We had a chance to get a good look at her pile of iederdown covered babies, of course we did not have the stupid camera. But we did get pictures a few minutes later. We are trying not to get to close, she hisses her feathered brains out when we are near her. So now we must be patient and wait for her to show us her new brood.

Ducklings

Petunia's babies are hatching today! When I went in her pen to check on progress at 7:00am she lifted her wing to show me her first duckling. Then Petunia gently tucked the little fuzzy baby back under her wing. Now it is 3:30 pm and we are hoping there are more, which I'm sure there are. Here is a picture of the new mommy at 3:30 pm, you can just barely make out the ducklings under her.