First thing in the morning

First thing is that stupid alarm clock going off, no wait actually it's Chester, Herman, Maddie or Carmella, the cats. Who can get the best spot; find the softest place to knead their paws and wake me up for head rubs. Chester, Herman and Carmella get along pretty good but if Maddie thinks that there might be a hint of another cat in the same room, she sputters hisses and growls like a rabid animal. There is always a chain reaction when one cat does something whether it be hissing, fighting or waking Pumpkin and I up.So at about 4 am it all begins, cats marching up and down my body; Grrrr, hissss, purrr purrrr purrr, knead, knead, knead, thump, someone finally plops on top of my stomach. The other decides my legs need to be pinned down. They all avoid waking the orange beast, which would cause a grumpy grrrr and feeble attempt to chase them off the bed. Everyone settles in by about 4:15 am, nice and quiet, I'm safely pinned down; Pumpkin did not have to evict any one.Usually between 5 and 5:30 am the fox decides to circle the house barking. You hear this horrible noise that sounds like someone put a cat thru a wood chipper, Braaaatttt, Braaaatttt. Everyone is now wide awake, Pumpkin is up, standing on the bed, looking out the window Grrrrrr, Grrrrr, bowwww wowwww woooo grrrrr, she bolts off the bed, scattering the cats. Still believing that there is some slim hope of getting more sleep, I refusing to even open my eyes or acknowledging the ruckus around me. Bang goes the dog door, I had to have one with heavy duty hinges and springs, Bowwowwww, Grrrr, bowwowww through the back yard. It will only take Pumpkin a few minutes to assess the extent of the fox invasion and return to bed, a girl needs her beauty rest after all. Bang, the dog door now sounding like a gun shot and she jingles her way back upstairs to bed; name tag, rabies tag, doggie license all properly attached to her collar so we never lose are baby girl. Hopping on the bed, Pumpkin sigh contently, yawns, gives a snort and goes right back to sleep, the farm is safe.Then it all starts over again with the cats, purrrr, hissss, knead, knead…. Ugh, I realize how badly I need to go to the bathroom with 15 pounds of Herman on my stomach. Finally every one is all settled back in their spot; I still have a chance at getting a little more sleep before the alarm goes off at 6 am. In the distance, while I'm pretending to get much needed rest, I faintly hear Zilla crowing in the barn. Then Pepi chimes in which of course wakes up Freebird so he needs to join the other two and that wakes up the tom turkeys, Cecil and Dinner. Cocka doodle doooo, urta urta ooooo, gobble, gobble, gobble, now the guineas chime in, it does not stop once it starts, until they get let out of the barn. Slowly Pumpkin starts to stretch, giving a nice long beagle moan, noisy yawn and a few good snorts, it's going on 5:55 am and she knows my alarm will go off at 6. Do you know how long five minutes is to a little orange dog? Obviously it is an eternity. Pumpkin now lying on her back starts to moan, groan while kicking her paws in the air, wiggling her but back and forth from side to side. My little forty pound darling starts making louder moans along with other noises protesting my laziness for not waking up to rub her exposed belly. I'm holding fast to my do not make a move idea, I'm still sleeping, I have at least three more minutes before the alarm goes off. Finally the clock radio starts blaring at me and I roll over to hit the snooze button. Max will usually jump up to smash with me and the cats until the snooze alarm goes off. This is always one step to far for Pumpkin. She bolts up the bed starts licking any exposed skin feverishly. Then she leaps off the bed tears down the stairs and starts barking for me to join her. Heck no, I hit the snooze, I have eight more minutes. Now she is tearing back up the stairs, throws herself on the carpet and repeating her performance, belly up, feet now kicking wildly in the air, but whipping back and forth, moans, groans, whimpers coming from the orange body writhing on my floor. I have five more minutes, I'm not budging, and that’s when she realized its time to pull out the big guns. Starting with a little whine that sounds like she is very desperate, something terrible is wrong, Pumpkin tells me how she feels. Slowly this will escalate from the whiney whimper of dog talk to a madly barking crazed spinning Pumpkin. That’s when I give in, what the heck, there is only seconds until the clock goes off. Sitting straight up in bed I holler "let's go", Max leaps off the bed and Pump goes barreling down the stairs, still barking madly with an occasional spin. I'm halfway down the stairs she is tearing off into the house, returning only to bark at me; making sure I'm really following her. Every now and then she grabs Maxi by the leg attempt to drag him along with her. This performance does not stop until we are out the back door, checking out the new day with my special little orange girl.